The David Blunkett Memorial Page

 

From that time forward, all these Jews conspired
To chase this innocent child from the earth’s face
Down a dark alley-way they found and hired
A murderer who owned that secret place;
And as the boy passed at his happy pace
This cursde Jew grabbed him, and held him, slit
His little throat and cast him in a pit

Cast him, I say, into a privy-drain
Where they were wont to void their excrement
O cursed folk! O Herod come again,
What profit was there in your foul intent?
Murder will out, and nothing can prevent
God’s honour spreading, even from such seed;
The blood cries out upon your cursed deed!

Oh Hugh of Lincoln, likewise murdered so
By cursed Jews, as is notorious
(For it was but a little time ago)
Pray mercy on our faltering steps, that thus
Merciful God reach mercy down to us
Though we be so unstable, though we vary
In love and reverence of His mother Mary.

Geoffrey Chaucer


A rabbi is saying his prayers.
“O God!” he prays “A great shame has fallen on my family. My eldest son has converted to Christianity.”
“Your son” says God, sadly.

                Anon.


To turn insults into strengths, whigs, tories, blacks all chose to wear with pride the names they were given in scorn; likewise, our mountain-climbing, prophet-motivated solitary is to be the medieval baby-frightener, the Devil’s synonym; Mahound. That’s him. Mahound the businessman, climbing his hot mountain in the Hijaz. The mirage of a city shines below him in the sun…

Salman Rushdie


What is the difference between the Roman Catholics and the House Church Movement?
The Roman Catholics only have one person who’s infallible.

                Anon.


Could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper? If only! Nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work. Given that they are certainly going to die, couldn't we sucker them into believing that they are going to come to life again afterwards? Don't be daft! No, listen, it might work. Offer them a fast track to a Great Oasis in the Sky, cooled by everlasting fountains. Harps and wings wouldn't appeal to the sort of young men we need, so tell them there's a special martyr's reward of 72 virgin brides, guaranteed eager and exclusive. Would they fall for it? Yes, testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next.

Richard Dawkins


How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they dwell in eternal darkness.

How many Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Er…change…?


But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Barabbas and destroy Jesus…When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing but that rather a tumult was made, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it. Then answered all the people and said His blood be on us and on our children.

The Gospel According to St Matthew


Home Page

 

 

Home